There are 4 major factors for successful Job/Work/Life Search:

1. Expand the range and depth of relationships. Start where you are. Be personable. Trying to get someone to give you a lead is off-putting. Ask about needs and interests, about the person you are speaking to. Be genuine – that’s another strength. Follow their feedback. If they tell you you’re too angry, believe them.

2. Know what you’re interested in and be able to describe it. I like to start with a connecting statement composed of these segments: the kind of people you want to serve, a compelling problem that they share, and the outcome your solution provides for them. That way you don’t have to narrow down to a job title, but you can still focus your networking contact’s attention on what would help the employer and you. Adding a feeling word to the solution increases the sense of connection. (You might say, “The VP got excited when he saw the inevitability of an increase in sales from my plan.)

3. Connecting in a circuit, the way a battery works. You and the person you’re meeting with should have a sense of energy, the feel of each other. It’s your “signature,” the feeling you leave behind with a person. (They leave a feeling behind with you as well). Be open to showing you care about people in general until you feel caring for the person you’ve just met. That will give a feeling of comfort and interest in the person.

4. Competency to do your job search and your next job well. We haven’t been taught much about job search skills. We don’t always know how to introduce ourselves, make eye contact frequently, be open to suggestions from strangers we’ve just met or help ourselves overcome shyness. Negotiating is another skill we often weren’t taught. I’m fond of saying that from all of the career assessments millions of people have taken, no one ever was told they should take up job searching as a career.