(There is more to getting referred than just being known, liked, and trusted

All things being equal, people prefer to do business with those they know, like, and trust. We all know this, but there is one other thing that needs to happen for people to make referrals to you: you need to be remembered when the opportunity to refer you presents itself.

The process of becoming the person who gets remembered is a topic for another note, and it is closely related to the process of becoming known, liked, and trusted, but it is not identical. And in any case, KLT must precede being remembered. We resist sharing our networks with people we do not KLT. Therefore, our skill at achieving KLT status will greatly improve our networking.

To understand why this is required first, simply look at the opposite: no one would willingly refer business to someone they did not know, did not like, and did not trust, no matter how visible, credible, well-marketed, and remember-able others believed them to be.

So, how do you become the kind of networker who has achieved KLT status? It is, literally, the same way you become friends, and yes, I’ve explained this before: in your initial 1-2-1 conversations, hunt for areas of common interest and dwell on them. If you start there, and return there, you will become someone who is known and liked.

Trust is different. Trust requires confidence in your reliability, and therefore it requires proof. It can start small - just commit to a scheduled 1-2-1 and be there, on time, and ready. It will grow as you share stories about how you’ve helped others, and as others share stories about you. It will grow as you are asked for information and deliver it.

At some point, through these interactions, you will shift from being someone who is just another networker, to being a friend. And then you can become the friend who is top-of-mind when someone needs what you offer.

If meeting indoors makes you nervous, try “net-walking!”