Responding to an Emailed Referral Message

Might you have heard from Dave Smith yet?

I thought I had a blog post about this, but I can’t find it, so maybe it’s still in DRAFT. What I’d like to say is, often in these types of email introductions, there is an assumption that the person in transition and the person making the introduction have already talked about it. The assumption goes that you want to meet the person you’re referred to. So – this is a fine point – it’s tradition for the candidate to respond to the referral first.  Nothing bad happens if they respond to you first, but it indicates your interest in finding out more about the subject of the introduction. 

Since this is in email and I’m not sure how clear I’m writing, what I suggest is that you go ahead and contact Dave.  The procedure is to Reply All, thank the referrer, say you’re looking forward to connecting. Then when the second person responds, you drop the referrer off the email thread to go ahead and make your plans.  Make sense?

Hope this helps,

Whew! It's Memorial Day!

Greetings Friends,

Our weekly to-do list deserves special recognition. It’s not easy to make a good transition. Here is what you’re all doing (😉):

-          Three posts on Linked in each week so that you stay visible

-          Posting on other social media if it helps you be visible.

-          Reaching out to connect with new people, as well as people you connected with before to stay in touch

-          Keeping track of your time

-          Responding to interest from others or ideas/openings you get from some type of media

-          Repeating what you want to as many people as you can. (Our big secret is to tell pretty much everyone what you are seeking.)

-          Asking your mother to pray for you and keeping her posted on how her prayers are showing results

-          Staying healthy or taking care of health concerns

-          Taking care of and making repairs to everything under your roof, including where you keep your car

-          Attending to significant relationships with whom you are building the future

-          Making arrangements and attending social engagements out in the community

-          Following any inner guidance you have to find out about family members, or your family history

-          Reducing resentments

-          Walking in straight lines to the same spot every day and tagging it. Twice is better than once. This is internal programming.

-          Reviewing your finances, sending gratitude to those who send you money. (We don’t talk about this one much, but it’s helpful practice: Thankyou bank for depositing interest; Thank you Walmart for the refund; thank you universe for the quarter I found on the sidewalk…)

-          Looking for leads and connections that you’d like to ask others to connect you to

-          Reviewing what you learn through networking and revising your pitch, resume, cover letter, LI profile, all the times you use words to tell people what you are looking for

-          Offering ideas, empathy, suggestions and actions to others, especially job seekers, but mainly being beneficial to the wider community

-          Attending networking events and meetings where you talk and get to know people.  This may or may not be career/work related.

-          Asking for help, because all of the above is time-consuming and tiring

 No wonder you’re tired! 

Have a great weekend off, and I’ll see you back strong as ever next week!

Sue

Networking Refresher

By Jeff Hexter and Sue Nelson

1:1 conversations build Know, Like and Trust Factor in relationships.

Just a little reminder for you all:

For job seekers, networking is about “the process of interesting” people in your interests, insights and talents. “The key word in this definition is ‘process.’”[1] Networking is never about closing the deal like it’s a sale. It is the process of creating MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

2 Times, there are, in your life that you should be networking: Before you need a network and when you need a network.

3 Things have to happen to build a relationship: You must be KNOWN, LIKED, and TRUSTed (KLT). You achieve these qualities by interacting with others.

4 Things need to happen for you to receive a referral: KLT and REMEMBERING when the chance to refer arises.

1 Thing needs to happen for you to be remembered: FOLLOW UP with people you meet. This is also part of building a relationship.

You may meet at networking events, but the real relationship building happens in ONE-TO-ONE meetings between networkers.

1-2-1 meetings are not sales pitches or requests to be hired. They are conversations where you:

• Discover areas of common interest.

• Explore ideas for helping each other.

• Discuss potential referrals and how to properly make them.

Lastly, a REFERRAL is a WARM INTRODUCTION to a potential customer, source or further referrals, or a resource that benefits your networking partner.

You can do this!

[1] Adapted for job seekers from https://specialties.bayt.com/en/specialties/q/1799/what-is-the-best-definition-for-marketing-in-your-point-of-view-and-why/

Holiday Answers to (Not so)Friendly Questions

Over the holidays, you will see people who have cared deeply about you your whole life, people you are meeting for the first time and lots of people in between. Many of those people will ask you how you are doing and what you do. And some of them will express concern or outright certainty that you will never be employed again.  

There are, broadly speaking, two categories of reasons for their worries :

1.      They are concerned about you. They hear bad things about the market and they are concerned you are having too difficult a time.

2.      They have anxiety; their worldview is that bad things are happening and they’re frightened.

In the spirit of the season, and building KLT (Know, Like and Trust factor), you can be empathetic (after all, you know what scared feels like) and you can help turn the conversation around to be more encouraging..

There’s a 3-Step formula you can use to communicate that you’re going to be ok:

1. Acknowledge your relationship as well as their care and concern.

2. Share positive info about the market, what the process is, and what you are doing. This will reassure them, as well as yourself.

3. Encourage them to help. They won’t feel so helpless and you will gain support.

 1.      Acknowledge how much they mean to you: They are anxious and you know how that is.

a.      Express empathy. As I said, in the spirit of the season, we can acknowledge their anxiety.  Not that you don’t deserve yours, but you’re more knowledgeable on this point. You can say something like

b.      “I can see that you are worried about me/us, and I appreciate it. It’s understandable given all the press. And there is a lot more to the story.

2.      Give some information that will reassure them that you have a game plan that addresses all the obstacles.

a.      I’m in a couple of networking groups/have outplacement/etc., b) these groups study the job market and are in the know, have the most recent evidence and info about how professionals are hired into good organizations and c) -  this is where the change is - you know you are needed in a role that suits you. Other people around you have affirmed you are needed and qualified.

b.      Your conviction and positive outlook can help make your point. (You can use power poses if you need to.[1])

3.      Give them encouragement that they, too, can help. They can do this by

a.      Reassuring you from time to time that they know you’re terrific at what you do and that it’s important. It’s great when they share examples of your strengths.

b.      Acknowledging (also from time to time) that you are working hard on your search and that surely someone is going to hire you soon, because… how could they not?!

c.      Offering to help you find a job. If they offer, ask them if they are interested in a) knowing a bit more about what you do, b) learning what words to say to tell others about what you do; c) thinking about whom they already know (or if they hear of anyone) you can talk with who shares your interests, and d) introducing you to those persons. (Have your business cards ready.)

Finally, give them encouragement back that they are supporting you and it’s great to know you are friends/relatives, etc. because they have your back and that just plain feels good.

ONE LAST THOUGHT ABOUT ENCOURAGEMENT: If someone is consistently a downer, draining your energy or insisting that you are not going to succeed, please acknowledge their anxiety and then limit your time with them as much as possible.  You can go back to spending time with them later if you want to, when you have your new job under you.

Bad is stronger than good, but bad is not more REAL than good.

 A couple of tidbits may help people accept the things you are saying even if it conflicts with the negative comments they’ve been repeatedly hearing.

A.     YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE bad is stronger than good and that’s why they’re remembering the bad news. It’s just the way our brains are wired. Then you can remind them that two things are working in your favor: the unemployment rate is low, under 3% right now, AND jobs for professionals are created more than posted online. This is a really good thing because the strategy you’re using for job finding is networking so that employers who need the work that you do will find you through all the people who know you are out looking.

(Sometimes this is hard for us to remember since job seekers who have landed, are not in our circles anymore. We don’t see them because they are hard at work, learning the new ropes.)

B.     AGEISM IS GENERALLY A TOPIC a worried person will bring up. Yes, ageism, racism, sexism and all kinds of other -isms exist and are terrible. And they might keep you from getting a particular job, but they don’t keep you from getting a job. You already know the trick is to be in relationships so others who know, like and trust you can recommend you to hiring authorities as openings come up. This gets past any stereotypes hiring authorities might have.

C.     WE DO NOT KNOW what is going on behind the scenes. As tempting as it is to think that there are no jobs out there, the truth is jobs are being created  All. The. Time. Employers frequently ask their friends who they know who’s good because they don’t want to have to post their job opening on the internet.

I think it’s in your best interests to a) tell people this so they don’t worry so much and b) so you and they stay encouraged, keeping ears and eyes open to refer you. Networking is how professionals get jobs.  

Finally, in case anyone still wants to try to convince you that it is impossible to find work at your age or with all these downsizings, etc., it is encouraging to note that even during the Great Depression, the unemployment rate was as high as 25%.[2] It was hard to find work. But 75% of the people who were looking for work were able to find it. I don’t mean to disparage the people who could not find work. It was hard. And it is also true that people were doing jobs they didn’t want to do.  But my point here is that finding work is never hopeless.  

I hope this gives you some topics for conversation during the holidays.  If you’d like more support, check out our other holiday related posts on our BLOG.  There are quite a number of posts on networking how-to’s and other job search topics.  Feel free to reach out to us and don’t forget to smile. It’s the greatest advantage that you have!

[1] There are several videos and articles about Amy Cuddy’s power pose research. This link has a discussion about how others perceive us differently depending on our body language. And we may perceive ourselves differently as well. What I can say is that I have had clients swear by these poses for tense situations.

[2] I don’t usually cite Wikipedia, but in this case they have a lot of sources you might like to check out.

It's All Good: The Benefits of Workplace Differences

Ed. Note: This post from Guest Blogger Andrea Peck gives insight into the differences between introverts and extroverts. Many job seekers feel disadvantaged by whatever type they are. Perhaps you will find some encouragement here..

Andrea Peck

I just returned from a family vacation where I realized that our differences actually enhanced the vacation experience.  It made me realize that I too often focus on the challenges versus the benefits of dealing with people who are different from me.  What follows are some thoughts about the value of differences in the workplace.   I hope it's a helpful reminder for you as well.  

Family vacations can be exhilarating.  Who doesn’t like exploring new destinations with loved ones?  But spending extended periods of time with people you normally only see once or twice a year for a week or less can be stressful.

My three siblings live out west while I reside in Ohio.  In more recent years, we only meet up for special occasions—weddings,  funerals, short term getaways.   This October, however, we spent almost three weeks vacationing in the Mediterranean, ample time to reveal real, though not deal breaking, differences: my sisters and I are planners while my brother likes to wing it;  several of us are extroverts  who share our stories with every stranger we meet while our introvert prefers private and selective conversations; and then there are us feeling types: we worry-- about  tipping, who or how much;  everyone’s safety; and  if we’re all getting along, while my rational siblings are more pragmatic about their spending, the challenges of travel,  and matters of the heart.   And though most of our differences were easily resolved,  in the workplace— we often spend more time with coworkers than with family and friends –these same differences can wreak havoc.  

The Myers Briggs assessment provides insight into one’s own and others’ behaviors and mental processes and can be used to strengthen leadership, problem solving, decision making, conflict management and team building skills.  What follows is some background, facts, and a few tips for better understanding and handling workplace differences.   

Background

Based on the work of Carl Jung, The Myers Briggs Type Indicator was initially developed by Katheryn Briggs and her daughter Isabel Myers during WWII to help place women into  jobs vacated by men. Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc. later published the MBTI in 1975. Today it is used worldwide by over 2 million people a year.  

Facts:  It measures preferences and  inclinations-- not traits, skills, aptitudes, or competence; there are patterns to how people think and behave.  A high score in any category is an indication of what you prefer, not whether you’re highly skilled.   No preference is better than another; although, our culture most values the traits of ESTJs—extroverted, rational, objective, methodical planners.  And though we can do all preferences, we don’t do them equally well. 

Application: How people get energized and motivated in the workplace is one category  measured by the MBTI; one has either Extroverted or Introverted preferences.

Extroverts

Extroverts like face to face interactions. They prefer brainstorming, group interactions,  and  may quickly respond to other’s questions, ideas, or emails before they’ve fully processed their responses. Hence,  they value the feedback and input that can result from exchanging ideas with others.  Extroverts may finish your thoughts,  interrupt you mid-sentence, or walk into your office without prior notice if they have something important to say.

Benefits: Their energetic talkative style encourages creativity and teamwork and may encourage those who are more passive.  

Tips: Maintain eye contact.  Don’t assume  they’re not interested  or superficial  because they dominate conversations or interact with so many.  Let them share their opinions and ideas.    

Introverts

Introverts prefer spending time alone, working by themselves, reflecting on decisions and judgment, and a quiet workplace. They like direct communication versus small talk or chatter,  leading self-starters,  and  they appreciate having time to think before they respond -- responding in writing allows them time to reflect. 

Benefits: They are excellent listeners and thoughtful responders.   As a result, they can guide extroverts with good questions, and validate and encourage others—  great leadership skills.       

Tips: Give them ample advanced notice.  Include options for them to respond in writing. Be patient with their longer response times -  don’t assume it means a lack of interest.  Finally, provide them with opportunities to express themselves.   

Though Extroverts and Introverts may not always understand one another’s approaches —Extroverts can see Introverts as unsocial, aloof, or shy while Introverts view Extroverts as intrusive, egotistical or aggressive-- they each offer valuable skills and perspectives that can complement and support one another’s success, or in my family’s case, a great vacation.   Using  assessments like Myers Briggs can provide the tools and insights needed to enhance our appreciation of workplace differences.   

If you are interested in learning more about Myers Briggs or any of my monthly articles/topics, please contact me andreapeck@andreapeck.com

 Andrea (Andie)  Peck

Facilitator, Consultant, Coach 

Professional Enhancement through Communication

 Helping others discover their voice, vision, and value.