Networking Refresher

By Jeff Hexter and Sue Nelson

1:1 conversations build Know, Like and Trust Factor in relationships.

Just a little reminder for you all:

For job seekers, networking is about “the process of interesting” people in your interests, insights and talents. “The key word in this definition is ‘process.’”[1] Networking is never about closing the deal like it’s a sale. It is the process of creating MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

2 Times, there are, in your life that you should be networking: Before you need a network and when you need a network.

3 Things have to happen to build a relationship: You must be KNOWN, LIKED, and TRUSTed (KLT). You achieve these qualities by interacting with others.

4 Things need to happen for you to receive a referral: KLT and REMEMBERING when the chance to refer arises.

1 Thing needs to happen for you to be remembered: FOLLOW UP with people you meet. This is also part of building a relationship.

You may meet at networking events, but the real relationship building happens in ONE-TO-ONE meetings between networkers.

1-2-1 meetings are not sales pitches or requests to be hired. They are conversations where you:

• Discover areas of common interest.

• Explore ideas for helping each other.

• Discuss potential referrals and how to properly make them.

Lastly, a REFERRAL is a WARM INTRODUCTION to a potential customer, source or further referrals, or a resource that benefits your networking partner.

You can do this!

[1] Adapted for job seekers from https://specialties.bayt.com/en/specialties/q/1799/what-is-the-best-definition-for-marketing-in-your-point-of-view-and-why/

Q&A: When to Apply When You Can’t Network In

Hi Sue,

I want to apply for a position I found at Heidegger’s Transparency Institute. It would be for a policy research role. When I went on LinkedIn to find people who work there, I found that a former colleague who I got along wonderfully with, is on the Board of Directors.

I sent her a nice message, explained how I found her, wished the family well and asked if she would be willing to get coffee and chat about non-profits and policy. Eek! I wanted to make the connection between us, the work and the job opening without saying all that. I am really hoping that this was all proper etiquette.

One question, is: The job has been posted a week. Do I wait to hear back/hopefully meet before applying? Or go ahead and submit?

Thanks to you and the Action Accountability Group for helping me be a risk taker!

Sally

 Hi Sally,

Thanks for your note. The nuances of managing job search and relationships take some thinking through to master them, just like you are doing.

Your approach to your former colleague is perfect and fills in the middle steps before asking if she knows of the opening, what they’re looking for, if she can advocate for you, etc. Please slow down about asking about the role. Sometimes there are other changes or information that is relevant to your desire to apply in the first place. Also, your friend can give you insight into how you might fit in there, or even other options unrelated to Heidegger that exist out in the community that may interest you.  As you may recall, the first practice we adopt in transition is expanding our seeing of opportunity and where we might fit in.

If you get to talk with her, you may find there is a search committee or recruitment firm who is leading the process and that is additional information for you to use for navigating. Depending on the guidelines of this particular organization, as a Board or even committee member she may not be in a position to talk about anything. I know you don’t want to put her in a difficult situation. The gentle approach you’ve adopted mitigates the risk of her having to shut down contact. 

Yes, it would be better to talk with her before you apply, which brings up the second part of your question: As far as how long you can you wait to apply –

Does the post say anything about when submissions need to be received?  If it’s a month, then you get to wait to see if you and your friend can connect. You could wait till the second last day, if you know it, to apply, to allow you time to see your friend.  I say second last because sometimes there are glitches in our timing or the system and that still would leave you a day to make changes, reload, etc.

Since this is a smaller organization, one option is to call and ask whomever answers the phone how long the position will be available. You would add that you are intending to apply within their window and would like to talk to someone you know about it so you can include more insight in your cover letter/application.  The idea is to convey your excitement along with seeking knowledge. 

When it’s a larger organization, you can try calling the hiring department or HR.

Since at this time it is just before the end-of-year holidays, we don’t know if the posting will be given a full month. If you are unable to find the date the job post is closing, I would apply by the last business day of the year.

It sounds like this could be a really good opportunity for you, using your favorite strengths. I can’t wait to hear what you find out and how the opportunity unfolds. So glad you’re pursuing it.

Hope this helps,

Sue Nelson

 P.S. To those who are reading this blog post:

This column and article fit into a much larger coaching philosophy and practice that we can’t address in these pages.  There are several blog posts tagged as coaching. Searching for that term will help you find other suggestions to help you in your transition. In the meantime, if you need assistance, or you’d like to know more about what coaching through The Job Search Center entails, please email me at Sue@TheJobSearchCenter.com  or call 216.395.7433.

Best Week for Job Offers!

THE WEEK OF THE YEAR that the most job offers are made and accepted is the week between Christmas and New Year’s.[1]

The reason the last week of the year is so packed with job offers is due to three things:

-           People who were waiting for year-end bonuses before giving their notice, are ready to leave their positions. Yet employers still need the work to be done.

-           Organizations and departments with December 31st fiscal year-ends either have to get people into position or they’ll lose that budget, or b) they have budgets beginning January 1 and want to get a person in place ASAP.

-           People are just in the mood to give and receive so more of this activity extends to the job market as well.

So, this is a great time of year to be networking!

Opportunities come up suddenly at this time of year. Be out there. Be available. And if others offer to help, express that the key is for you to be seen as available and KLT - known, liked and trust. “Your personal referral,” you can say, “ is the best regard and referral I can have.” 

If you have more time, you can tell them three things that will help them identify helpful contacts:

a.         Tell them the type of work you would like to do. Maybe you can add the types of employers who use that kind of work. Telling them kinds instead of particular organizations helps them be creative and tap into the network that they have.

b.        Tell them the kinds of people you would like to meet that could help introduce you to these types of employers, and

c.         Tell them the 2 or 3 lines that people often say when they are frustrated and are in the throes[2] of needing someone like you.  

It can be harder to reach people at this time of year, yet they are chattier when you do.

This is a great time of year to touch base with people you already know and ask them to reconnect.  Even and especially if they are people you like, but haven’t seen in a long time (like a colleague from three jobs ago that you really enjoyed working with).

With these already-friends, you are more likely to get appointments and they are more likely to keep your interests in mind. Plus, these are easier networking conversations. They already know your strengths and you can relax and be personable with them, too.

When you are attempting to set up meetings with people who are new to you, you might try these words from Dominic Bonacci who recently concluded a very successful search:

The purpose of getting a cup of coffee was to get to the next cup of coffee. [I told them,] “I don't expect you to have a job to offer me but [to] learn enough about me to introduce me to a few more opportunities for coffee.”

[1] The exception to this is banking and financial services that work on year end closes.  These people will have their turn in early January, before tax season gets into full swing.

[2] Throes is an old-fashioned expression I like because it’s sooo DRAMATIC!!!. It means, “intense or violent pain and struggle, especially accompanying birth, death, or great change,” (Google Dictionary), and this is how people sound when they really need someone like you.

Holiday Answers to (Not so)Friendly Questions

Over the holidays, you will see people who have cared deeply about you your whole life, people you are meeting for the first time and lots of people in between. Many of those people will ask you how you are doing and what you do. And some of them will express concern or outright certainty that you will never be employed again.  

There are, broadly speaking, two categories of reasons for their worries :

1.      They are concerned about you. They hear bad things about the market and they are concerned you are having too difficult a time.

2.      They have anxiety; their worldview is that bad things are happening and they’re frightened.

In the spirit of the season, and building KLT (Know, Like and Trust factor), you can be empathetic (after all, you know what scared feels like) and you can help turn the conversation around to be more encouraging..

There’s a 3-Step formula you can use to communicate that you’re going to be ok:

1. Acknowledge your relationship as well as their care and concern.

2. Share positive info about the market, what the process is, and what you are doing. This will reassure them, as well as yourself.

3. Encourage them to help. They won’t feel so helpless and you will gain support.

 1.      Acknowledge how much they mean to you: They are anxious and you know how that is.

a.      Express empathy. As I said, in the spirit of the season, we can acknowledge their anxiety.  Not that you don’t deserve yours, but you’re more knowledgeable on this point. You can say something like

b.      “I can see that you are worried about me/us, and I appreciate it. It’s understandable given all the press. And there is a lot more to the story.

2.      Give some information that will reassure them that you have a game plan that addresses all the obstacles.

a.      I’m in a couple of networking groups/have outplacement/etc., b) these groups study the job market and are in the know, have the most recent evidence and info about how professionals are hired into good organizations and c) -  this is where the change is - you know you are needed in a role that suits you. Other people around you have affirmed you are needed and qualified.

b.      Your conviction and positive outlook can help make your point. (You can use power poses if you need to.[1])

3.      Give them encouragement that they, too, can help. They can do this by

a.      Reassuring you from time to time that they know you’re terrific at what you do and that it’s important. It’s great when they share examples of your strengths.

b.      Acknowledging (also from time to time) that you are working hard on your search and that surely someone is going to hire you soon, because… how could they not?!

c.      Offering to help you find a job. If they offer, ask them if they are interested in a) knowing a bit more about what you do, b) learning what words to say to tell others about what you do; c) thinking about whom they already know (or if they hear of anyone) you can talk with who shares your interests, and d) introducing you to those persons. (Have your business cards ready.)

Finally, give them encouragement back that they are supporting you and it’s great to know you are friends/relatives, etc. because they have your back and that just plain feels good.

ONE LAST THOUGHT ABOUT ENCOURAGEMENT: If someone is consistently a downer, draining your energy or insisting that you are not going to succeed, please acknowledge their anxiety and then limit your time with them as much as possible.  You can go back to spending time with them later if you want to, when you have your new job under you.

Bad is stronger than good, but bad is not more REAL than good.

 A couple of tidbits may help people accept the things you are saying even if it conflicts with the negative comments they’ve been repeatedly hearing.

A.     YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE bad is stronger than good and that’s why they’re remembering the bad news. It’s just the way our brains are wired. Then you can remind them that two things are working in your favor: the unemployment rate is low, under 3% right now, AND jobs for professionals are created more than posted online. This is a really good thing because the strategy you’re using for job finding is networking so that employers who need the work that you do will find you through all the people who know you are out looking.

(Sometimes this is hard for us to remember since job seekers who have landed, are not in our circles anymore. We don’t see them because they are hard at work, learning the new ropes.)

B.     AGEISM IS GENERALLY A TOPIC a worried person will bring up. Yes, ageism, racism, sexism and all kinds of other -isms exist and are terrible. And they might keep you from getting a particular job, but they don’t keep you from getting a job. You already know the trick is to be in relationships so others who know, like and trust you can recommend you to hiring authorities as openings come up. This gets past any stereotypes hiring authorities might have.

C.     WE DO NOT KNOW what is going on behind the scenes. As tempting as it is to think that there are no jobs out there, the truth is jobs are being created  All. The. Time. Employers frequently ask their friends who they know who’s good because they don’t want to have to post their job opening on the internet.

I think it’s in your best interests to a) tell people this so they don’t worry so much and b) so you and they stay encouraged, keeping ears and eyes open to refer you. Networking is how professionals get jobs.  

Finally, in case anyone still wants to try to convince you that it is impossible to find work at your age or with all these downsizings, etc., it is encouraging to note that even during the Great Depression, the unemployment rate was as high as 25%.[2] It was hard to find work. But 75% of the people who were looking for work were able to find it. I don’t mean to disparage the people who could not find work. It was hard. And it is also true that people were doing jobs they didn’t want to do.  But my point here is that finding work is never hopeless.  

I hope this gives you some topics for conversation during the holidays.  If you’d like more support, check out our other holiday related posts on our BLOG.  There are quite a number of posts on networking how-to’s and other job search topics.  Feel free to reach out to us and don’t forget to smile. It’s the greatest advantage that you have!

[1] There are several videos and articles about Amy Cuddy’s power pose research. This link has a discussion about how others perceive us differently depending on our body language. And we may perceive ourselves differently as well. What I can say is that I have had clients swear by these poses for tense situations.

[2] I don’t usually cite Wikipedia, but in this case they have a lot of sources you might like to check out.

For Job Search Coaches: Thoughts on Handling Requests for Handling Special Needs in Transition

This question was sent in by a fellow job search adviser.

Q: A member of my faith community is a job seeker, diagnosed on the spectrum and bi-polar (he's self-confessed this to me).  With your experience I’m looking for guidance for:

• Job seeking support, structure and guidance

• employment

• temporary financial support (he may be receiving something from our faith community)

Sincerely,

Chris

 A: Hi Chris,

I can sure understand why you want to help to this gentleman. He’s in a tough place and thank goodness there are places and people like you who want to help.

The first place I’d start in Cleveland is NAMI. There is a national organization as well. They have everything this person needs, including referrals to agencies that can provide job search assistance. If in addition to their guidance you are able to help him write his resume, LI profile, and to make networking introductions in his field that would be lovely. But please read my caveats below before you take this on.

In Cleveland, Vocational Guidance Services, as I understand them, works with more severe disabilities. They may have some insights, ideas or wherewithal to help, depending on his needs. Someone who previously had professional jobs probably would not need their services, but they could check.

One question I have that will make a difference is if he was let go for cause. If you think your faith community is supporting him, he may not have been eligible for unemployment (fired) or have been out of work so long that his unemployment insurance ran out. If he is eligible and has not applied, he should be encouraged to do so. If he started receiving it, and then did not comply and was dropped, then scheduling an appointment with the Unemployment Bureau at Ohio Department of Job and Family Services would be the next step. There’s also a lot of info on their website.

If he is in or getting near to dire circumstances, in Greater Cleveland the thing to do is call 211. They will know the most up to date resources, qualifications and procedures for obtaining them and can steer the person to available resources right away. They can deal with any crisis.

If his disease affects his ability to work or find work he may need a lot of help. Perhaps the meds don’t control his condition well enough.  Or, he may be one of the many, many people who stop taking bi-polar meds because a) they miss the mania and b) they think they’re doing well and don’t like the side effects. The place to start is NAMI.

In a case that medication doesn’t really control the problem, it may be wise to talk with someone at Social Security to see what his options for permanent disability are.  This is not a path to take lightly as it is very difficult to qualify (personally, emotionally and financially - not to mention the extensive paperwork). Once you’re receiving it, it’s complicated to change your mind later, and decide you’d rather work. Also, it’s very difficult to be approved the first time one applies. There is a workbook that can help him get started.

Quality of life often means being able to work and finding some way of keeping engaged in the community is important for well-being, as you well know. So if he does qualify for SSI, employment within the income guidelines or volunteering may be healthy options. You or someone else might be able to help him with those.

Not having any idea what his skills are (office, profession, trades, etc.) I can’t recommend any particular organization, but the usual ones we recommend for finding jobs are all good: OhioMeansJobs and any particular organizations such as Robert Half for accounting or ManPower for lower skilled work, come to mind.  If he’s at an appropriate professional level, he could attend any job seeker group.

The thing is, unless he really needs accommodation, it’s usually best to not bring up his mental health issues to anyone.  Sometimes people with a condition have a victim mentality about it, though, and wanting sympathy, keep talking about how hard they have it, which keeps them stuck. 

There’s a complicator to recommending networking and referring your friend.  If his condition cannot be reliably controlled, or if he is non-compliant with his meds, his future behavior (fit) reflects on the referrer.  This is a touchy subject because most likely, the gentleman does not intend to negatively affect someone else. And if he’s generally ok, it’s none of anyone else’s business. He just wants a job. He may intend for there to be no interruptions in his future work. Yet for all of us, life is not always the way we want it to be.  It has ups and downs that stress us emotionally leading to behaviors from our past that don’t help us. For a person with his conditions, these behaviors can be significant detriments to work relationships.

If he does in fact need accommodation, or wants protection under the ADA (Americans with Disability Act), then he needs to tell an employer about his disability or issue and what accommodation he requires to do the job he is otherwise qualified to do. The timing of that request is an issue best addressed by NAMI or an employment lawyer experienced with these issues.

I have often suggested waiting till an offer is made, but that is not the best plan in all cases.  A few times, I’ve advised candidates to say upfront (especially if the disability is visible) what they need and to bring a document they hand to the interviewer to explain and support it with relevant info the employer needs to make a decision.  It’s possible that type or strategy might be useful. NAMI or an employment lawyer who is knowledgeable about cognitive disabilities and mental health would have more insight.

More and more companies are looking for candidates with various divergent abilities who have good skills. They are willing to look at candidates and what they bring to the table. Again, NAMI may possibly have a list of employers and know the best ways to talk with employers to help them see value in the candidate. I believe they also offer some sort of ongoing support to employers as well.

Early in my career, I was working at a rehab center and recognized talent in some of the individuals I was helping. They had closed head injuries (not what your person is dealing with), but they told me they had back injuries and I didn’t see their cognitive disabilities at first.

I treated their career development as I normally would, saying they could do these professional jobs. I gave them hope for training and jobs that they couldn’t actually do because they couldn’t maintain attention long enough to get the job done, or done accurately or safely.  I set them up for a lot of disappointment and I regret that.

Working with a person in this difficult situation can be nourishing for us and them. And it requires - and the person deserves - the best guidance possible.  If it were me, I would decline working with him until there is guidance from an established, accredited person or organization that you can follow, and with care to stay within bounds of job search advice. Coaching a person in this situation is not an option since they need counseling and specific expertise that we job search coaches are not informed or licensed to provide.

I hope these ideas are useful to you and your person.  Best of luck to you and them.

With great respect for the work you do and the care you extend,

Sue Nelson

Founding Director

The Job Search Center

It's All Good: The Benefits of Workplace Differences

Ed. Note: This post from Guest Blogger Andrea Peck gives insight into the differences between introverts and extroverts. Many job seekers feel disadvantaged by whatever type they are. Perhaps you will find some encouragement here..

Andrea Peck

I just returned from a family vacation where I realized that our differences actually enhanced the vacation experience.  It made me realize that I too often focus on the challenges versus the benefits of dealing with people who are different from me.  What follows are some thoughts about the value of differences in the workplace.   I hope it's a helpful reminder for you as well.  

Family vacations can be exhilarating.  Who doesn’t like exploring new destinations with loved ones?  But spending extended periods of time with people you normally only see once or twice a year for a week or less can be stressful.

My three siblings live out west while I reside in Ohio.  In more recent years, we only meet up for special occasions—weddings,  funerals, short term getaways.   This October, however, we spent almost three weeks vacationing in the Mediterranean, ample time to reveal real, though not deal breaking, differences: my sisters and I are planners while my brother likes to wing it;  several of us are extroverts  who share our stories with every stranger we meet while our introvert prefers private and selective conversations; and then there are us feeling types: we worry-- about  tipping, who or how much;  everyone’s safety; and  if we’re all getting along, while my rational siblings are more pragmatic about their spending, the challenges of travel,  and matters of the heart.   And though most of our differences were easily resolved,  in the workplace— we often spend more time with coworkers than with family and friends –these same differences can wreak havoc.  

The Myers Briggs assessment provides insight into one’s own and others’ behaviors and mental processes and can be used to strengthen leadership, problem solving, decision making, conflict management and team building skills.  What follows is some background, facts, and a few tips for better understanding and handling workplace differences.   

Background

Based on the work of Carl Jung, The Myers Briggs Type Indicator was initially developed by Katheryn Briggs and her daughter Isabel Myers during WWII to help place women into  jobs vacated by men. Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc. later published the MBTI in 1975. Today it is used worldwide by over 2 million people a year.  

Facts:  It measures preferences and  inclinations-- not traits, skills, aptitudes, or competence; there are patterns to how people think and behave.  A high score in any category is an indication of what you prefer, not whether you’re highly skilled.   No preference is better than another; although, our culture most values the traits of ESTJs—extroverted, rational, objective, methodical planners.  And though we can do all preferences, we don’t do them equally well. 

Application: How people get energized and motivated in the workplace is one category  measured by the MBTI; one has either Extroverted or Introverted preferences.

Extroverts

Extroverts like face to face interactions. They prefer brainstorming, group interactions,  and  may quickly respond to other’s questions, ideas, or emails before they’ve fully processed their responses. Hence,  they value the feedback and input that can result from exchanging ideas with others.  Extroverts may finish your thoughts,  interrupt you mid-sentence, or walk into your office without prior notice if they have something important to say.

Benefits: Their energetic talkative style encourages creativity and teamwork and may encourage those who are more passive.  

Tips: Maintain eye contact.  Don’t assume  they’re not interested  or superficial  because they dominate conversations or interact with so many.  Let them share their opinions and ideas.    

Introverts

Introverts prefer spending time alone, working by themselves, reflecting on decisions and judgment, and a quiet workplace. They like direct communication versus small talk or chatter,  leading self-starters,  and  they appreciate having time to think before they respond -- responding in writing allows them time to reflect. 

Benefits: They are excellent listeners and thoughtful responders.   As a result, they can guide extroverts with good questions, and validate and encourage others—  great leadership skills.       

Tips: Give them ample advanced notice.  Include options for them to respond in writing. Be patient with their longer response times -  don’t assume it means a lack of interest.  Finally, provide them with opportunities to express themselves.   

Though Extroverts and Introverts may not always understand one another’s approaches —Extroverts can see Introverts as unsocial, aloof, or shy while Introverts view Extroverts as intrusive, egotistical or aggressive-- they each offer valuable skills and perspectives that can complement and support one another’s success, or in my family’s case, a great vacation.   Using  assessments like Myers Briggs can provide the tools and insights needed to enhance our appreciation of workplace differences.   

If you are interested in learning more about Myers Briggs or any of my monthly articles/topics, please contact me andreapeck@andreapeck.com

 Andrea (Andie)  Peck

Facilitator, Consultant, Coach 

Professional Enhancement through Communication

 Helping others discover their voice, vision, and value.